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March 20, 2005

lost in transition

Today is the first day of spring. I slept with the window open last night and when I woke up this morning I could hear birds singing like mad in the trees outside. They're all planning their next moves; they've got that spring-ritual thing down no question--now sing cuckoo (yes I know that's from a poem about summer).

So, wow: It's been a fall, and a winter, and it will be a spring, and I will be "going forward" and "living my life"--isn't that the most ridiculous thing; why do we use those phrases? Why do we act as if when we are in shock, denial, pain, we have somehow stepped back from--or out of--our life? Like we can stop it from going on, with us or without us, as if we are suspended in time rather than living it, traveling with it, traveling onward--wait a minute, wait a minute, just let me stay here for a little while; let me think, I can't think. Hold up, will you?

Now it's 7:45 and in a little bit it will be 8:00. Now it's foggy and damp and in a little while the sun will be out. Now everything is brown and in a few days green will overcome our little part of the planet. Now the days are getting longer and in a few weeks they will be getting shorter again. Now we see as through a glass, darkly, but then we see face to face. "In transition" you said yesterday; I wonder if you heard yourself say that, though I did, I heard you.

In transit from that, to this, to something else. Oh, and me, too--I know it, don't worry about that. You and me: two roads diverging in a yellow wood. From that, to this, to something and someplace else. From there, to here, to there. From living, to living, to living.

Posted by JudyLa at 08:15 AM | Comments (0)